Fake Hands-on-Moms, Apparently It's a Thing!

Not really the way I want to use this space after not writing in it for so long but I just have to get it off my chest. There's an article published in a local newspaper in Cagayan De Oro talking about "fake hands on moms" and how to spot them. Apparently, fingernails say so much about raising children. Who the fuck knew, right?
This woman is saying these are the qualities that make a "fake hands-on-mom", eto sabi ni ate!

Oh, kape diba? Bawal mahaba kuko. Bawal mag heels. Bawal magpaganda 
at magpahinga! Fake hands on mom ka na agad-agad!
Honestly, until I read this article, I didn't know that there's a thing such as a "fake hands on 
mom". I just thought that there are moms. Period. 
I didn't know that there's a certain look for REAL hands on moms either.  If I love to 
paint my nails and keep them long or choose to color coordinate all our clothes hindi nako 
hands on mom? 
Goodbye Nailaholics, goodbye all my favorite spas that give me a chance to recharge and 
be a calmer, happier mother. We must part for the sake of my children as per this writer's 
Apparently, I have to forget color or my own sense of style. I have to resist the urge to color 
coordinate our clothes. 
I have to refrain from taking gazillions of photos or try to capture our moments. Forget that I 
may want to look back on them when the kids are older and me and my husband already 
have fading memories.
Oh shoot, now I have to fire our yaya, make her unemployed, lest I be called a "fake hands 
on mom". Oh crap, now what about my yaya who left her own kid at home to work for us 
what does that make her? Should we just disregard her quality as a mother, just because 
like me, she appreciates nail polish. 
Forget the fact that she constantly talks to her kid on the phone and can tell there is 
something wrong or that her kid is excited about something just by the sound of her 
daughter's voice. Yeah, right, she's fake. She has polished nails. 
I will have to fire her and forget the fact that she has a family she supports because I failed 
to sift through my toddler's shit. Forget the fact that my toddler is potty trained and knows 
how to flush. Nope, because I like to dress up and make myself look and feel pretty, I don't 
get credit for that! (Mental note: tell toddler to have shit inspected by mom) 

So shoot me, just because I'm kikay, I have a helper at home and I look good in heels. 
I am a fake hands on mom according to this article. 
Disregard the fact that I gave up my career to raise my children, or that I work at home with 
a kid on my lap, or that I poop with an open door while my kids chat with me just to ask silly 
questions and I let them. Good bye nailpolish, goodbye lipstick, goodbye my favorite 
pumps. Apparently, there's a dress code and I didn't get the memo.

Shoot me, I thought loving my kids unconditionally, making sure they are happy and 
teaching them good values was enough! 
I don't know about "fake hands on mom" but I think it is either you are in your child's life or 
you are not, how you go about that is your business. As moms and women we should stick 
together and support each other, regardless of nail length or fashion sense. You can 
not judge one mom or the other just because of the photos she takes with her 
kids, or that she color coordinates or like skyscraper-fuck-me-heels. 

Being a mom is hard enough without being compared to each other, without 
comparing yourself to others, or being told off just because of how you look or how you 
run your household.

Lookie here, we color-coordinate, I am such an effin' faker!!!!

*We take a Valentine's Day photo each year to see how our family grows and also to prevent Valentine's Day dates with hormonal boys in the future!


  1. bullying man iyaha. way lami. ang plus tho is nanggawas ang mga palaban nga babaye nga di musugot magpabully.

    1. true, abi palang kay naa sya sa sunstar pwede ra sya mag generalize. bahala siya basta kita mangaligo ta complete with shampoo and conditioner! ;-)

  2. awesome mommy rampage!

  3. Nice one, Jo!!! - Iyah <3

  4. The writer is probably losyang haha


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